r/news Nov 29 '22 Silver 2 Helpful 1 Wholesome 1 All-Seeing Upvote 1

U.S.A. advances to World Cup knockout stage after pivotal win against Iran

[deleted]

35.3k Upvotes

308

u/curtisas Nov 30 '22 Silver

And all it took was the chance at getting a Pulisic Jr

55

u/NutsForProfitCompany Nov 30 '22

Not only did he sacrifice himself, but future generations as well

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u/milehighrukus Nov 29 '22 Silver Platinum Bravo Grande! Got the W

Pulisic sacrificed his Netherlands so we could play the Netherlands.

1.5k

u/you_made_me_drink Nov 30 '22

You could hear every man in my office when that happened. Such a high speed impact and then a bonus heel kick. Oooooooof.

377

u/grayrains79 Nov 30 '22

Something tells me I don't want to watch a replay of this...

241

u/TheCrazedMadman Nov 30 '22

I do...

204

u/grayrains79 Nov 30 '22

Username DEFINITELY checks out.

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u/PM-Me_Your_Penis_Pls Nov 30 '22

Pulisic got a face full of Iranian footballer crotch too.

Lucky bastard.

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u/Zauberer-IMDB Nov 30 '22

Username checking out.

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u/AlanFromRochester Nov 30 '22

It was clear Pulisic was hurt after scoring the goal, I hadn't noticed it was in the nuts

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u/milehighrukus Nov 30 '22 Table Slap

Me neither. All they said was abdominal injury…which is apparently where his nuts were relocated

45

u/VOZ1 Nov 30 '22

I had just read he was checked out at a hospital, and the team reported he had a “pelvic contusion.” But it also said he was dizzy afterwards…a bad hit to the nuts does make sense. Oooooof.

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u/cboogie Nov 30 '22

US commentary 5 minutes later “yes so it seems like Pulsic sustained a ‘stomach’ injury”…

HALF OF US IN THE WORLD HAVE NUTS. IT HURTS WHEN THEY GET HIT. ITS OK TO SAY IT!!!!! JFC what a bunch of prudes.

63

u/AlanFromRochester Nov 30 '22

https://alanfromrochester.tumblr.com/post/614080464276340736/bschweitz-ariaste-thehumming6ird-i-cant

I'm reminded of this clip of an Indian Super League match where a defender slams into the goalpost making a clearance, and the announcer is not shy about it

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u/MississippiJoel Nov 30 '22

That sounds like he had those lines prewritten in his head, just in case he was ever given a aet up this perfectly.

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u/milehighrukus Nov 30 '22

Yea. They could have used all sorts of fun euphemisms

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u/refreshing_username Nov 29 '22

That was far more tense than it should have been.

906

u/Jeggasyn Nov 29 '22

Well, I can assure you that your next game will have very little tension.

198

u/CK16 Nov 30 '22

Netherlands are a solid team, but I would rather play them than France, Spain, Brazil, Argentina, and probably Portugal. Could be worse.

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u/mrchickostick Nov 30 '22

We don’t want to play BFAPS

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u/NevarNi-RS Nov 30 '22

Speak for yourself, I personally always bfaping

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u/ichancho Nov 29 '22

Netherlands is only ranked 8th probably the best draw we could've gotten

594

u/Koentjee01 Nov 29 '22

Stop looking at FIFA rankings as if they mean anything. Belgium are 2nd on there and have been shit for a long while, being bested by the Netherlands twice just before the World Cup.

84

u/washington_jefferson Nov 30 '22

Netherlands has performed quite poorly lately as well. They didn't qualify for the last World Cup. They were my dark horse pick to win this year's World Cup, so that's good news for the US. Better to play the dark horses than the Clydesdales.

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u/YuriAddict7 Nov 29 '22

I remember when they were 1st for like 5 years when they never reached finals let alone won anything

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u/LOSS35 Nov 30 '22

Still a favorable draw for the US. Much rather face this NL team than the likes of Brazil, France, Spain.

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u/CrowVsWade Nov 29 '22

It's still a poor Dutch squad and mediocre team.

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u/grey_hat_uk Nov 30 '22

For a dutch squad, for any not automatic last 4 contenders not so poor.

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u/Constant_Dealer9531 Nov 29 '22

So either you are saying the USA is an extraordinarily weak team… which it’s absolutely not given how they played against England…. Or you are saying the Netherlands is a powerhouse … which with this current team it’s definitely not.

54

u/ShittyFrogMeme Nov 30 '22

USA is an underrated team IMO, they played England very well. England obviously was not very into that game, but you have to give some credit to the USA too for utterly dominating the midfield. But against quality competition playing knockout football, there are two areas the US is deficient. First is that they do not have scoring ability. They probably would have 9 points if they had a real striker. Second is the lack of fitness. They've had to pull off their best players in the 60-70 minute range in each game and they don't have depth to replace them with quality subs. Ironically the best chance I see the USA having is scrapping into penalties, but they won't have the fitness to get there.

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u/Suspicious_Bug6422 Nov 29 '22

Netherlands have not been particularly impressive lately. The US has a solid chance.

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u/Dapper-Pilot-9734 Nov 29 '22

My heart was beating out of my chest the last 30 minutes... We dominated the first half but it seemed like we sat back too much in the second and allowed Iran to hold the ball and attack

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u/IMovedYourCheese Nov 29 '22

That's exactly the reason why the Wales game was drawn. USA was dominant throughout the first half but then got way too defensive after scoring a goal. They really need to keep on the attack till they are at least 2 or 3 goals up.

2.2k

u/px7j9jlLJ1 Nov 29 '22

Or kick a field goal

1.2k

u/notjanelane Nov 29 '22

Go for the two point conversion

350

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

191

u/MonsterNog Nov 29 '22

Shatter the backboard

166

u/staplerbot Nov 29 '22

By kicking a grand slam

90

u/greatBLT Nov 29 '22

during sub-two second pit stops

65

u/PotatoePotaughto Nov 29 '22

Would that be a Hole-in-one?

38

u/SkullCapHero Nov 30 '22

It's actually a ground rule double

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u/Mookhaz Nov 29 '22

Hell, even a 3 point shot from half court would suffice.

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u/Wisdomlost Nov 29 '22

We got a chap in a baggy green delivering a beamer with a high chance of being a bouncer when what we really need is a yorker.

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u/PoppinKREAM Nov 29 '22

On the flip side they finished second in their group with 2 clean sheets. They didn't let England score who had 9 goals against Iran and Wales.

Pragmatic teams tend to do well in tournament settings. Iran didn't really get many good chances, the USA set up in a mid-block that forced the Iranians to pass the ball in the middle of the pitch. Their defensive organization was impressive, blocking off most incisive balls through the lines. Though it remains to be seen if they can replicate this result against LvG's Netherlands.

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u/dhork Nov 29 '22

What's a "clean sheet"? Is that metric for "shutout"?

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u/PoppinKREAM Nov 29 '22

Correct! Here's a quick crash course on footy lingo https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/zv8mvk7

If your team wins without letting the other team score, you’ve kept a clean sheet. This is because sports reporters used to record scores on white sheets of paper - so if yours was clean at the end of the match, that would mean no goals had been scored against you

131

u/Haus42 Nov 30 '22

Hmm, I'll try to use it: Did you... see that... ludicrous display last night? The thing about... Arsenal is... they always try to walk it in.

37

u/TheKingoftheBlind Nov 30 '22

You’re having a laugh.

23

u/MessyRoom Nov 30 '22

Also make sure you always say “it’s coming home lads” whenever England plays, regardless of where you’re from

51

u/Demiansmark Nov 30 '22

You're getting it and what was Wenger thinking, sending Walcott in that early.

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u/Pleasant-Fish-9741 Nov 29 '22

Another good one to know is called a brace. A brace is when a player scores 2 goals in one match.

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u/edWORD27 Nov 29 '22

A song by the Descendents

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u/spushing Nov 30 '22

My biggest issue with their tactical shift isn't that they play too defensively, it's that they fail to possess the ball. Once they go into prevention mode, they can barely string 3 passes together before turning the ball over.

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u/D_Explosivo Nov 29 '22

Well said. I’m worried about those injuries though

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u/TheCoach_TyLue Nov 29 '22

I'm most worried about USMNT in 2046. Pulisic's future kids should be in form.. now we're uncertain

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u/_toodamnparanoid_ Nov 30 '22

United States Mutant Ninja Turtles?

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u/bigskyta Nov 29 '22

Agree. I thought it was a confident defense today.

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u/FrostyD7 Nov 29 '22

All this winning via pragmatic decision making sounds boring though, maybe they should try reddit's strategy for a change and lose with style.

18

u/all4whatnot Nov 29 '22

This is way too on point for this crowd

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u/SnooMachines1109 Nov 29 '22

Reminds me of old Bradley ball. Come out guns blazing, score first, then just play defense for 85 mins and hope you don't lose.

Losing Pulisic and Sargent didn't help though.

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u/MaximusZacharias Nov 29 '22

2 or 3 goals up? We’ve scored 2 in 3 games….if we don’t have pulisic and Sargent against the Netherlands…..yikes. Hope I’m wrong.

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u/dirtywook88 Nov 29 '22

See this is where the mind games come. Dutch been shakey for years much like the us but the Dutch got the weight of the success of years gone haunting every step. Depending on the injury and subs situation this’ll be a good game.

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u/jamills21 Nov 30 '22

Eh, you can put in Aaronson or Reyna and it wouldn’t be that much of a drop off from Pulisic. Sargent especially since the U.S. is weakest at that position.

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u/Kineth Nov 30 '22

This has been the US Men's team M.O. for way too long and I hate it.

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u/Art-Zuron Nov 29 '22 hehehehe

If the US is good at one thing, it's making a highly offensive first move, followed by dragging it out until we nearly lose!

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u/emmy166 Nov 29 '22

My heart rate got up to 136 during stoppage time even though I was just sitting on my couch

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u/Zes_Teaslong Nov 29 '22

Because Iran didn’t need to score. They sat back and defended until we scored. After that goal they had to attack and the US was more inclined to protect their lead

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u/the_maestr0 Nov 29 '22

Exactly! First half we controlled the ball ~60% of the time, second half the only metric we dominated was # of badly sprained ankles.

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u/i-am-dan Nov 29 '22

Yes, now pick a premier league team randomly and you can enjoy that anxiety twice weekly.

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u/Lucid-Machine Nov 29 '22

My wife and I already play enough competitive tetris.

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u/dirtywook88 Nov 29 '22

football manager has entered the chat

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u/Heroicshrub Nov 29 '22

Our best striker was out for the 2nd half

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u/joeDUBstep Nov 30 '22

Pulisic is a left winger not a striker FYI.

"Striker" refers to an actual position where they play centrally up the pitch.

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u/Iwillrize14 Nov 29 '22

And Mckennie was everywhere for 60 min, he's the heart of that midfield. These tournaments favor deeper teams anyways.

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u/sonic_couth Nov 29 '22

Tyler Adams be the defensive mid part of the heart

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u/WhiskeyFF Nov 30 '22

Pulisic isn't even a true striker, he's an attacking midfielder. It's why we run him up high with Weah and Sargent, it's where we need help the most.

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u/nowuff Nov 30 '22

Would you consider a winger a midfielder?

He’s an 11/7

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u/RightclickBob Nov 30 '22

In the most traditional sense, USA hardly have a striker at all. Weah is forward most of the time but plays a lot like a Midfielder. Pulisic is announced as a striker but that’s not who he’s ever been or ever will be.

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u/Dapper-Pilot-9734 Nov 29 '22

Aaronson is a quality replacement... honestly not much dropoff offensively imo

Losing Pulisic didn't cause that shift

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u/SnooMachines1109 Nov 29 '22

We have no real goal nosed finishing strikers besides him though. Weah was gassed early and Aaronson lacks confidence a little, I think.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

[deleted]

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u/Zooshooter Nov 30 '22

What was the U.S. thinking sending Aaronson on that early?

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u/RightclickBob Nov 30 '22

First time I’ve ever seen this meme used for Team USA 😂 Congrats to you both

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u/Dontsaveme Nov 29 '22

I feel like that strategy is going to cost us a win next round.

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u/danhoang1 Nov 29 '22

So we're gonna take the lead and then play too defensively, and let Netherlands tie it up? I guess I'll take that

Inb4 I regret those words

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u/PMacha Nov 29 '22

Especially as we get the joy of facing the Netherlands this Saturday.

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u/Brandito5 Nov 29 '22

Being up against The Netherlands is going to cost us a win next round.

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u/dongletrongle Nov 29 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

The patriotism entering my body when my country wins

502

u/ThisIsNotKimJongUn Nov 30 '22

I didn't give a shit about the world cup until we beat Iran

210

u/sagevallant Nov 30 '22

I think it looks extra bad on Iran to lose to us, tbh.

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u/ThisIsNotKimJongUn Nov 30 '22

Agree, I care way more that Iran is embarrassed

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u/ThePoultryWhisperer Nov 30 '22

This is so accurate haha

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u/the_maestr0 Nov 29 '22

Is it possible to get PTSD from watching a soccer game?

575

u/Shnoookems Nov 29 '22 Silver

Become an MN sports fan. It’s our lifestyle.

109

u/SlothRogen Nov 30 '22

Twins fan checking in…

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u/ItsMummyTime Nov 30 '22

Wild fan, also checking in

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u/757boi Nov 30 '22

Minnesota United fan checking in

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u/nowuff Nov 30 '22

Go Timberwolves

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u/CannonFodder141 Nov 30 '22

Vikings fan.

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u/nowuff Nov 30 '22

People don’t understand the pain in this thread

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u/CannonFodder141 Nov 30 '22

Success exists only to raise our hopes, so they can be crushed more completely later.

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u/Coranthius Nov 30 '22

My Brother in Christ, you just jinxed the second half of our Vikes season

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u/TheGreatZarquon Nov 30 '22

The Vikings certainly don't need any help jinxing their own seasons, they do that well enough on their own.

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u/Terrik27 Nov 30 '22

Wow I try to forget every now and then, then catch friendly fire in a celebration thread....

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u/Soren_Camus1905 Nov 29 '22

Chelsea fan here, still not over Barcelona 2009. So yes, it is possible and if you follow the sport you likely have a game that scarred you for life.

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u/50ShadesofBray Nov 30 '22

US fans already have that, it's called Trinidad and Tobago, 2018 qualifying cycle.

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u/magnoliasmanor Nov 30 '22

Thanks. Until a minute ago I was able to squash that memory into the same.corner as the camping trip with my uncle as a kid.

Wait.

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u/FuckingKilljoy Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

Aussie, still not over Italy in 06...

Edit: just want to remind the world that Francesco Totti can eat a dick and Fabio Grosso deserves to get his belt loop stuck on every door and have every coffee he buys be cold

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u/_-Olli-_ Nov 29 '22

Honestly. People keep bitching that it's a boring sport, but there is absolutely no other sport like it that will have me screaming at my TV/screen, and having my smartwatch tell me to calm down.

Yeah, sure, there are draws, but man, some of those are the most exciting games of all! I've never understood the hate towards football.

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u/peter-doubt Nov 29 '22

You should try playing it.

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u/BasedMaduro Nov 29 '22

Yup. That time when I tried to score a goal and only shot the ball straight into the goal keepers face at mach 10 sticks with me to this day.

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u/CletusDSpuckler Nov 29 '22

That day I was the keeper when a guy shot a ball into my glasses at mach 10 sticks with me to this day too. Bent the shit out of my frames.

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u/thunderousqueef Nov 29 '22

PTSD from 90 minutes of cardio?

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u/FeelingAd2027 Nov 29 '22

We're american that comes with the territory

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u/SlothRogen Nov 30 '22

I’d say ‘oof’ but I’m already out of breath

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u/DeadpooI Nov 30 '22

Brazil still hadn't lived down the 7-1 score they got so probably. Every game i play online that has any sort of scoreboard with low numbers always has BRAZIL when the score comes up.

Hell it's a goal to Brazil people in my friends group when we play rocket league.

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u/tyrion85 Nov 29 '22

bruh one single missed penalty back in 1998 ruined my whole summer as a child and also scared me for life, I still get anxiety attack when I remember it lol

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u/Snoo-3715 Nov 30 '22

Yes, it's pretty much expected for World Cup knockout rounds. Just the word penalties brings back trauma. 😫😫

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u/blackbeltmessiah Nov 29 '22

Well that cant feel good to Iran

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u/Steel_Eagle_J7 Nov 30 '22

Well, the people of Iran are celebrating the loss, because nobody is supporting the team, as they consider the team the regimes team and not their national team.

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u/BootyBrown Nov 30 '22

Thats not true. The team spoke out and supported the protesters.

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u/SOL-Cantus Nov 30 '22

Iranian-American. We're rooting for the players who protested, but the team is owned and operated by Khamenei's lily-livered ass.

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u/cpt_tusktooth Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

When i heard this on Radio, i was like "fuk yeah, merica baby"

Then the radio talked about how difficult life was going to be for the Iranian players when they returned home.

The protestors were against the team because they saw them as supporters for the Regime.

And the Regime doesent like the team because they didnt sing their the national anthem when they won.

Moreover, non current players who supported the protest have been jailed, tortured and some even sentenced to death.

What a sad state for humanity right now.

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u/and_a_side_of_fries Nov 29 '22

Coach + substitutions = catastrophe

And FFS, use Reyna.

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u/shleeve25 Nov 29 '22

Pulisic not looking too good health wise after that game. So it may be Reyna against Netherlands

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u/dp4277 Nov 29 '22

Aaronson wasn't bad. The rest were terrible n almost cost us the game.

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u/and_a_side_of_fries Nov 29 '22

100%. I like aaronson. Promising future

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u/Petorian343 Nov 30 '22

The rest were terrible? Zimmerman was a monster on defense!

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u/bacon_cheeseburgers Nov 30 '22

Thought Acosta was good also. Moore & Wright were pretty bad. Musah was massive tonight, but he was clearly gassed by '75 and should have come out as well. For literally anyone who could sprint.

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u/Badger_1066 Nov 29 '22

Well deserved to be honest. The USA have played their hearts out. Congrats.

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u/Borpf Nov 30 '22

Thanks babe

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u/ApatheticWithoutTheA Nov 29 '22

Good. Hopefully the Iranian government is seething mad.

I feel bad for whatever punishment those players may face when they get home though.

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u/Successful_Tank1677 Nov 30 '22

I so, so, so hope they’re gonna be okay, their families too.

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u/workingdad83 Nov 29 '22 Helpful

That game was really exciting at the end. My asshole was chewing on the couch.

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u/Stormhunter117 Nov 30 '22

You have a fascinating command of the English language

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u/Ausecurity Nov 29 '22

When we win the World Cup we will officially call it soccer

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u/user038 Nov 29 '22

The US women's football team has already won four world cups and is the most accomplished national team in the history of women's football.

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u/SgtPepe Nov 30 '22

Yup. When I moved to the US I was impressed with how football is considered a women’s sports in a lot of places here. Boys play American Football, Basketball, Baseball. Girls play soccer.

I don’t know if things have changed, but that’s what I witnessed first hand

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u/tnecniv Nov 30 '22

Eh idk if it’s seen as a woman’s sport. It’s more that football is considered a male sport and competes with it in the fall, which was the season school soccer teams played in my area.

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u/X-Maelstrom-X Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

It’s a kid’s sport where I’m from. American kids usually play a season or two in 1st grade or so and then never again.

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u/Grooviemann1 Nov 30 '22

I think soccer isn't so much seen as a women's sport but as a kid's sport. At least, that's how I've always seen it. It's very common to play as a kid in the US but very few go beyond that.

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u/BadDub Nov 29 '22

Soccer is short for association as in football association. Pretty sure its a British word lol

1.1k

u/CurtisLeow Nov 29 '22

Most English words are British words.

441

u/GrumpyButtrcup Nov 29 '22 Silver

Until we liberated them in a fit of fiery bald eagles! /s

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u/EternalSeraphim Nov 29 '22

Oh God, now all I can hear is their majestic screams.

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u/keandelacy Nov 29 '22

Fun fact: most of the sound effects used for bald eagle cries (in commercials and such) are actually from the red-tailed hawk

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u/rarely_coherent Nov 29 '22

Wait wait wait…you’re telling me this majestic creature doesn’t sound as cool as we think ?

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u/Woochunk Nov 29 '22

I can only assume the bird drowned at the end.

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u/EmperorSexy Nov 30 '22

Mess with the crab, you get the jab

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u/MandoDoughMan Nov 29 '22

They introduced it to Harvard for like the one 5-year period of time they called it soccer, so that's just how we got to know it.

And as true Americans Harvard decided it was dumb and played rugby football instead.

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u/Crafty_Enthusiasm_99 Nov 30 '22

And then Harvard proceeded to suck at both

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u/djrob0 Nov 30 '22

Getting back to their English roots, and sucking at sports invented by the English against countries they taught how to play.

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u/vicillvar Nov 30 '22

Technically it was Canadians from McGill who decided it was dumb and made Harvard play rugby rules against them.

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u/Earlier-Today Nov 30 '22

You're close - it was "association football" - which was to distinguish it from the other kinds of football, like rugby football and Gaelic football.

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u/ThePrussianGrippe Nov 30 '22

If you played rugby you were a rugger. If you played association you were a soccer.

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u/aj_ramone Nov 29 '22

I'm not into soccer but I'm glad that smug little prick that mouthed off to the US captain is upset.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

Sure. Just remember, he was state media, not a player. Wouldn’t be surprised if he had to ask it.

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u/mhoegeman Nov 30 '22

It’s for sure that he asked questions that were given to him by government individuals

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u/east4thstreet Nov 29 '22

sauce? didn't hear about this...

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u/doublex12 Nov 29 '22

Pre match interview yesterday

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u/My_G_Alt Nov 29 '22

Link? I don’t know any of the people or how to even look it up haha

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u/ComplicitJWalker Nov 30 '22

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u/madman19 Nov 30 '22

Kind of ironic for an Iranian to be asking about those topics

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u/ru_empty Nov 30 '22

Standard whataboutism from the reporter: If you aren't perfect then it doesn't matter how bad we are.

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u/contactfive Nov 30 '22

The US is not perfect by ANY means when it comes to racism but I firmly believe we are well ahead of a good majority of countries. Racial homogamy really kind of makes it a non-issue in a lot of places.

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u/Scout_wheezeing Nov 30 '22

No fucking way he really played the “YoU’rE cOuNtRy’S hIsToRy iS rAcIsT” card over one silly 4 letter word describing a horrible regime

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u/DopplerEffect93 Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

I felt the question was trying to insult the player but it also made the reporter look incredibly ignorant and stupid.

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u/mileskerowhack Nov 30 '22

What a fucking lad, not phased at all.

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u/the_maestr0 Nov 29 '22

All of my Iranian friend would have never let me live this one down had they won.

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u/formerlyanonymous_ Nov 30 '22

Mine was rooting for USA because he's a Kurd and had to flee to Canada.

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u/danhoang1 Nov 29 '22

friends*, unless you meant just his entire body then nvm

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u/TopDeckHero420 Nov 29 '22

Too bad it wasn't "Trial by Soccer" to free Iranian women from oppression.

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u/muchaschicas Nov 29 '22

I noticed that none of the Iranian women (at least on camera) were not wearing hajibs. Given the current state of facial recognition technology, I wonder what awaits them when they fly back home?

Did they get a free pass for Copa de Mundial?

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u/PoppinKREAM Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

Iranian women in the first match were seen on camera motioning scissors with their hands pretending to cut their hair, the Iranian fans booed the national anthem, and the players refused to sing. The security was also seen confiscating flags/signs/jerseys from Iranians that supported the women's protests in Iran.

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2022/11/25/why-are-some-iran-fans-protesting-world-cup-explainer

https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/iran-qatar-world-cup-protests-1.6664061

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u/SlothRogen Nov 30 '22

Qatar: confiscates flags and signs

Everyone: hates that

Qatar: shocked Pikachu face

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u/WhiskeyFF Nov 30 '22

There were some absolute lookers on the Iranian side as well.

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u/blueskysahead Nov 30 '22

Men and women were like models

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u/DiscordianStooge Nov 29 '22

There were a lot of women with Iran gear on not wearing head-coverings. I have no way to know if they were actually from Iran, though.

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u/whalebacon Nov 29 '22

USA 1st half: Playing to win!

USA 2nd half: Playing not to lose.

Final result? Lucky to sneak out with a win and Pulisic in an ice bath. Hope he's ready for Netherlands.

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u/Nice_Dude Nov 30 '22

I hope his netherlands are ready for Netherlands

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u/eye_booger Nov 30 '22

Thinking back to that interview where the Iranian journalist was trying to coax some racially charged quote from one of the US players (after chastising him for pronouncing Iran wrong) and that makes this victory so much sweeter.

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u/LeCrushinator Nov 29 '22

Of course I boycott a World Cup and now the US is doing good.

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u/eros56 Nov 29 '22

I wonder what the barbaric Iranian theocrats have in store for their national team players.. they already threatened their families with torture and death if they staged any further protests.

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u/ThriftStoreDildo Nov 29 '22

damn really? do you have a source? wss just wondering if they did anything since the players didnt sing the national anthem iirc

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u/Hippopotasaurus-Rex Nov 29 '22

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u/ThriftStoreDildo Nov 29 '22

lmao what a shithole. fuck theocracies

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u/cybin Nov 30 '22

Don't know who remembers this, but in '94 a Colombian player who scored an own-goal for us (and we ended up winning 2-1, and Colombia did not advance out of group play) was murdered not long after the team returned home.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andr%C3%A9s_Escobar#Own_goal_incident_and_subsequent_murder

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u/Wadka Nov 29 '22

Christian Pulisic pulling the most demoralizing American strike on Iran since Qasem Soleimani.

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u/firem1ndr Nov 29 '22

USA USA USA! Exciting match, but the US need to have that finishing instinct to capitalize on their chances and get that 2nd goal if we want to make a run, bit them in the ass against Wales and almost did here too

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u/GrandmasHere Nov 29 '22

The ayatollahs have to be super pissed that the guy who scored the winning goal for the US is named Christian.

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u/AngstChild Nov 30 '22 Spit-take

If only Jesus Ferreira had scored on a Christian assist.

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u/kovyvok Nov 29 '22

Fuck FIFA and fuck Qatar

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u/sarcastroll Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

Nice!

Now we just have to rest up a bit before the next round against, what I'm sure is just some 2nd rate, crappy team. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. I'm so confident I won't even check the schedule. I mean, it's not like we have to okay against a powerhouse like the Netherlands or something.

Edit: Just checked the schedule. We're playing some team "NDL", whoever the hell that is. I Googled it and it came up "National Diet Library (Japan)", so some crappy regional Japanese team that doesn't eat much. Should be a piece of cake! I predict US 12-0, maybe more, over whomever this "NDL" rag tag group of suck is.

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u/TantricEmu Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

We’ll fold those tulip lovin’, Dejima tradin’ swamp things up like a lawn chair!

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u/grimatongueworm Nov 30 '22

Last 20 minutes were incredibly stressful

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u/WynterYoung Nov 30 '22

I'm not even into the World Cup and I'm really proud of our team. I like winning against countries that fuck with their people. That being said, I feel for their team considering Iran is threatening them now to torture their families if they don't "behave".