r/Tinder 5d ago Silver 1

She said she has “6 kids, jk only 2” what’s my next move

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21.7k Upvotes

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u/tomslatt19 5d ago Wholesome

She really hit you with the “How I ain't bring nothin' to the table when I'm the table?”

2.0k

u/Mussalila 5d ago

I'ma turn up the music, wake up the neighbours

612

u/micaiah95 5d ago

Imma get that Thug Life tatted cross the navel

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u/keefsteve 5d ago

this is how i am in real life, not just on tinder

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u/Ill_Description2414 5d ago

"Ms. Narcissist, " tell her 'bout her arrogance

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u/knowledge319 5d ago

No more counseling, I don’t negotiate with therapists

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u/cllick 5d ago

God Ye, wanna let God in, But tonight I’m gonna let my pride win

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u/AndrewAllStar888 5d ago

Dr Dre sent me scriptures, help me see life better

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u/Daddy_Scar 5d ago

n**** we having the west divorce ever

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u/Glad-Corner5667 5d ago

If we go to court we go to court together

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u/psychoella 5d ago

Nice profile pic 😎

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u/finger_milk 5d ago

"Sweetheart, a table can support a family of 4. You ain't even that"

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u/2ntle 5d ago

Well that really depends on the sturdiness of said table

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u/LessInThought 4d ago

Why is the family sitting on the table instead of on chairs

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u/TheMereMortal 4d ago

Chairs are really just butt-tables

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u/JesustheSpaceCowboy 5d ago All-Seeing Upvote

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u/ewdrive 5d ago

Minus! Five! Stars!

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u/Akosa117 5d ago

Man, there really is something for everything

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u/Helpdeskagent 5d ago

Wat? She comes with 2 free kids, you just have to take care of them and spend time with them and buy them stuff

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u/Glum_Ad_9005 5d ago

And cook and clean up after them. Don’t forget that part

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u/behind_looking_glass 5d ago

OP’s next move is to press the unmatch button and avoid this train wreck of a human being. I see nothing but red flags here.

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u/EvergreenEnfields 4d ago

More red flags than May Day at the Kremlin

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u/mrrooftops 5d ago

beyond red flags... red sirens

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u/Bullen-Noxen 5d ago

In before first date to find out she is as flat as a board….table.

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u/Zanglirex2 5d ago

Yeah, next move is to dip dude. This doesn't sound like a great long term strategy

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u/fronto0 5d ago

U can cum on the table but not in it 😔

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u/mtabacco31 5d ago

With 6 kids I think he can finish where ever he wants.

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u/weaponess 5d ago

Phrasing

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u/ge0zzii 5d ago

those poor kids

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u/Trans_Child_Molester 4d ago

Starving with nothing to eat.

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u/swanbiltong 5d ago

Anyone know how to lay a table?

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u/PmMeYourAmatuerNudes 5d ago

Well first you need to secure the wood.

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u/Riff_Moranis 5d ago

I AM THE TABLE!

Botchamania intesifies

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

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u/Dry_Understanding273 5d ago

We 6 kids ion think she’s a table. More like a booth

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u/darkResponses 5d ago

Are you not paying attention. She also brings her two kids

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u/impvespec 5d ago Gold

Say you prefer a bed or couch for the first kid, but a table could work I guess

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u/Sabermoose 5d ago

Perfect

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u/Ownfir 5d ago

Damn dude if I said this I would have poured myself a drink and pat myself on the back. That is next level smooth.

Wish I could think like this when I flirt with my wife lmao.

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u/disnolol 5d ago

I too wish I was that smooth when flirting with your wife

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u/Ok_Scale_4412 4d ago

Profile pic checks out

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u/Oinelow 5d ago

That's actually a pretty good joke since it's both Tinder and Reddit friendly

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u/crunkymonky 5d ago

Ask where she got her carpentry certification

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u/AdultishRaktajino 5d ago

Gotta have something to conceive the next 4 kids on.

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u/LankanBeast14 5d ago

Jesus, he was a great carpenter apparently.

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u/lolplsimdesperate 5d ago

This one’s good OP

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u/SweetPurpleDinosaur1 5d ago

I love this 😂

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u/obviousredflag 5d ago

6" dick, jk only 2

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u/bignick1190 5d ago

2 6" dicks? Sounds like a party

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u/Richybabes 5d ago

Damn 26" dicks sound inconvenient.

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u/ItzFin 4d ago

But 26 dicks is beyond a gang bang at that point

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u/EnglishPryncypalka 5d ago

I am not native speaker, and bad at english, can someone explain what is with her answer ,,i bring the table". For me it just sounded like joke, what does that mean?

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u/silbergeistlein 5d ago Take My Energy

The phrase, “what do you bring to the table”, is what are you contributing to the relationship in this case. When she says that she’s bringing the table, it was meant to be a witty quip, but it actually says that she’s not bringing anything to the relationship.
It’d be like if you asked an employer if they offered any benefits, opportunity for advancement, etc., and they’d respond with we gave you a job. What else do you want?

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u/nightimelurker 5d ago

Whack! And i thought it was just a harmless joke.

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u/libjones 5d ago edited 5d ago

It very well could have been just a harmless joke lol, no one here has any more insight to this than you do, your interpretation is just as valid as anyone else’s who’s just here guessing at what they meant. Just because someone has a lot of upvotes doesn’t mean they are right.

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u/Oobedoob_S_Benubi 5d ago

I mean we've seen a lot of women say " I am the table" without joking.

Now this one said bring the table, not am the table, so I am inclined to agree it was just a joke, but can't rule out that it wasn't a joke.

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u/dhSquiggly 5d ago

I took her bringing the table to mean that she’s got the whole setup on her own, that he only need to bring himself because she got her shit down pat.

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u/hambone263 5d ago edited 5d ago

I wouldn’t assume she is serious (I don’t think you do either). They are joking about having kids y’all

Side note: This is why I have to disagree with r/fuckthes. Poe’s Law

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u/NoiceOne 5d ago

The only joke here my friend is dis bitch.

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u/Knife_Chase 5d ago

Couldn't it also mean "I'm providing a house with a dining room that has a table" which also implies they're financially stable on their own.

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u/SpeedAtNight 5d ago

Yeah, lotta judgy ass people in this thread. Raising 2 kids alone ain't no joke compared to the standard run of the mill "my guy has to be 6' 4" and do everything" types that people complain about here.

Seems like they were having a witty convo. I'd follow through to at least get to know them better if I was interested. If they truly were just looking to leech, you'd know by the next few conversations and definitely after the first real date.

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u/Richybabes 5d ago

r/Tinder and assuming the absolute worst from the other person in a conversation. Name a more iconic duo.

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u/wellyesnowplease 5d ago

I took the joke a different way, that she was bringing in a lot of income income to be able to "bring the table", while her guy did all the rest. but tbh, I find the sexual references much funnier, so I hope that's her intent.

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u/EnglishPryncypalka 5d ago

Thank you very much for explaining!

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u/mrmudzi 5d ago

but it actually says that she’s not bringing anything to the relationship

No, it could be one of a number of things:

A) "what do you bring to the table?" is a douchey thing to ask someone after first asking them what it takes to be a dad. So she gives an equally (and self aware) douchey response

B) she thinks she's the main event

C) self deprecating parent humor

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u/Polyhedron11 5d ago

It's actually hard to tell and english is my only language. It could be a joke or it could mean they don't bring anything to the relationship.

It could also be a play on the kitchen sink joke as in, she brings everything to the table (provides appropriately).

Hope I was clear and concise enough.

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u/NamTokMoo222 5d ago

It means she brings nothing, only a place to put all the other things.

As for getting all these items, this is where you come in.

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u/iflyontrains 5d ago Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

get. out.

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u/chris96m 5d ago

last sentence is a MASSIVE red flag.

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u/exaviyur 5d ago

I think it's just a funny self deprecating joke.

729

u/Docoe 5d ago

You must be new here. Everything a redditor sees is a red flag

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u/TiiGerTekZZ 5d ago

Lets test this.

What color/colour is this flag. "🏳"

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u/Iken42 5d ago

You know saying "color/colour" is a massive red flag right?

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u/Docoe 5d ago

Red flag

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u/Lulullaby_ 5d ago

100% this

Some Redditors really need to go and touch some grass and also learn that you can in fact make jokes about yourself.

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u/boogers19 5d ago

"Touch grass" has to be about the most redditor thing you could type.

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u/bilabided 5d ago

Yea, really seems like that. This is just funny flirting at

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u/Impressive_BOIIII 5d ago

I don't understand. There's two opposite opininions on a topic but neither of them got downvoted. Since when did reddit learn tolerance??

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u/splashbruhs 5d ago

Twitter and FB are now the clear bad guys, so we gotta represent

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u/AJam 5d ago

I'm more concerned about the list of expectations and demands

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u/vampire_camp 5d ago

She’s honestly describing the requirements of being a parent. He made the joke about having kids, she said “lol ok but this is what it takes.”

How do any of you people exist in society

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u/splashbruhs 5d ago

We don’t. This is more of a “Here’s what I found the last time I was out on safari. Let’s disseminate it together anonymously and from the safety of our own homes” kinda place.

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u/SandaledGriller 5d ago

How do any of you people exist in society

They don't. The phrase "terminally online" comes to mind

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u/Bismothe-the-Shade 5d ago

You list that you're a parent in social media, your reception activity goes down.

Thing is, a lot of folks don't want to deal with kids and it's like... They don't want you to talk about it either. Seen so many posts here and some other subs where it's a single mom putting down the "I have kids and shit to take care of don't be a fuckboy or waste my time" boundary and getting shit on for being choosey when she has kids.

It's like a recursive fuckboy loop of idiocy.

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u/kdubz1122 5d ago

Seems like standard list of things to be a functioning adult/parent

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u/HooliganNamedStyx 5d ago

Concerned about the list of what it takes to be an adult and a theoretical parent in their theoretical 'we have kids' imaginative playdate?

Jesus, I really am starting to get worried for some of these people I see online. Do you ever have any actual conversations in real life?

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u/-neti-neti- 5d ago

Lmao Reddit is so fucking dumb. It’s just a joke

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u/TrueRedditMartyr 5d ago

Reddit moment

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u/Creatura 5d ago

It’s playful banter you gorgon

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u/Zhior 5d ago

Nah dude. That's what called a j-o-k-e out in the real world

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u/bynn 5d ago

Lol let me reframe the convo for you

Him: so how’s about you pump out a bunch of my kids

Her: haha funny

Him: I bet it’s a lot of work to take care of kids

Her: yeah it is. You should be able to provide them a stable life, get along with your co-parent and do a lot of cleaning up after and cooking for them

Him: so what are you going to do for me?

Her: 🙄

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u/YamazakiAllday 5d ago

love the reference ;)

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u/user1891477423674e11 5d ago Burning Cash

Nope the fuck out.

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u/Master_Jee 5d ago

Exactly this, your next move is to abort this shit before you end up step daddy to multiple kids & a partner that will leech you for it.

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u/Grizelda179 5d ago

Relax it’s a funny joke from her side

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u/awsamation 5d ago Plus One

Then it's a bad joke. Unless she immediately followed up with a second message that responded with what she does bring. Otherwise it's Schrodingers douchebag.

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u/bynn 5d ago

Lol I laughed. He’s joking around about being a father to multiple children and what it takes to do that. She’s telling him what it takes to do that. She obviously already does all that stuff herself. He’s the one pursuing her, he doesn’t need to ask if she knows how to cook, clean, and take care of her own damn kids lol

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u/Vulpes_Irae 5d ago

Clearly none of these people have heard about banter.

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u/YesImDavid 5d ago

For a while now I’ve been under the the impression most men on the subreddit haven’t even spoken to a woman.

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u/isuckatpiano 4d ago

Or you know ever talked to women…

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u/Odd_Employer 5d ago

What the fuck is "banter?" You made that up.

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u/MD_Lincoln 5d ago

You summed it up perfectly, thanks! Plus, “I bring the table” could be read as, I have my own place, you just bring yourself. Sounds awesome!

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u/bynn 5d ago

I definitely read it as “you’re the one joking around about me giving birth to four more children for you. Now you’re asking what more I should be doing for you in our imaginary life that you made up in the first place” lol

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u/lillian00280 5d ago

This. And the fact that people are upset with her listing the responsibilities, when he prompted the question... as though she is the one being flippant?!
I think her response is very witty. She brings the home, the family, and clearly she takes care of such responsibilities already on her own, while he merely only claims to, with his "I cook clean, blah blah blah. what do you bring?"
Imo, people who ask the sort of "what do you bring to the table" questions so soon are generally not very perceptive or are self centered.
But, on the off chance she is looking for some do-it-all sugar daddy type, or unable to provide for her children, well... understandable she might need help but hopefully that's not her sole objective

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u/Orsick 5d ago

Yeah, but she's a woman. And we all know women can't be funny s

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u/_Diakoptes 5d ago

Idk, ive seen lots of parents that cant do any of that. Its not a given that you can run a household just because you gave birth.

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u/DustHog 5d ago

I can’t imagine not reading this as a joke? Disappointing to see people so Reddit poisoned and unable to realize it 😢

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u/Miamimartian 5d ago

she could just be kidding… reddit doesn’t give anyone the benefit of the doubt

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u/wordscollector 5d ago

Long scroll to find a positive vibe, but I thought it was funny too

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u/Snake_Island_13 5d ago

I just realized redditors don’t think women are funny because they can’t identify when women are joking around.

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u/MermaiderMissy 5d ago

Plus all of the things she is asking for seem like the bare minimum for an adult (except for maybe financially stable these days)

Most adults looking for relayionships should be team players, calm, clean up after themselves, know how to cook AT LEAST a few dishes. So I don't understand all of the "RUN DUDE SHE IS ASKING FOR WAY TOO MUCH" comments.

Now if she's looking for all of these qualities but doesn't have any of them herself, that's a different story.

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u/psydelem 5d ago

Especially when he’s joking about having 4 more kids with her.

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u/Norwedditor 5d ago

I thought she was being hilarious?

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u/dontbemystalker 5d ago

That’s absolutely something I would say as a joke, I thought it was funny (if it is indeed a joke)

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u/ce_he 5d ago

it's a joke. he's literally talking in future tense.

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u/AFisberg 5d ago

From the tone of the convo it seems like a joke, but I guess can't really say for sure

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u/PotterGirl7 5d ago

exactly, this whole convo was joking until she did her last response? nah

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u/wahobely 5d ago

zomGA ReD flaG GeT OuT

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u/So_Desu_Ne 5d ago

Hooman female? RED FLAG

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u/comehonorphaze 5d ago

Lol was my first thought. Was a funny response. Gonna have to keep conversing to learn more about her is all.

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u/SimplyExtremist 5d ago

I’m 80% certain r/tinder is full of people who simply don’t like women.

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u/avwitcher 5d ago

That's because they can't get laid, and that's pretty much the only thing they want from women

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u/GoldEdit 5d ago

That is very true, half the time this is a terrible woman-hating place.

I love when women stand up for themselves...but in this case I don't like children so it's difficult.

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u/Xrayruester 5d ago

That feels like the internet in general

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u/Gertrudethecurious 5d ago

agreed - reddit is full of teenagers.

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u/prestigious_delay_7 5d ago

I'm angry at everything but I don't know why.

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u/TheRealMicrowaveSafe 5d ago

Right? They're flirting on tinder, not making a legally binding contract.

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u/K1FF3N 5d ago

She’s 100% joking and I hope OP isn’t scared away by some man-o-sphere shitheads and 14 year olds who have no dating experience.

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u/scorpio8u 5d ago

“I eat ass”

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u/ufakefekomoaikae 5d ago

The only right answer 😂

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u/purrhd 5d ago

I assume she was only joking.

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u/SpermaSpons 5d ago

My assumption too. No clue why people are taking this seriously

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u/Otterable 5d ago

Probably because there's a bit of a tonal shift where she lists a bunch of things that she desires in a partner, or things that she thinks is important to be the father of children, and he affirms most of them, then asks her to do the same and she responds with nothing.

Like yeah it's likely a joke, but he probably also wants to know those things, and there is an off chance she's serious.

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u/K1FF3N 5d ago

The joke is a context clue that she wasn’t serious to begin with. IDK why that wasn’t clear to ya’ll when they said six kids in todays economy.

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u/StarCell50 5d ago

Maybe they don't find it funny? "I expect you to do everything for me lol"

Such a joke has likely been an actual experience for too many people (men and women).

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u/binkerfluid 5d ago

yep, been there, done that. Never again.

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u/UnBlueFire42 5d ago

Is it a nice table?

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u/dreexel_dragoon 5d ago

Its just had two kids making a mess at it for years

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/marfes3 5d ago

The lion, the witch and the audacity of this bitch.

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u/Enraged37 5d ago

The ball, the pitch, and the audacity of this bitch.

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u/Stephchaa 5d ago

The plug, the switch, and the audacity of this bitch.

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u/The_SSS_ 5d ago edited 5d ago Table Flip

Anyone who says they bring the table is giving off a huge red flag. This conversation should be over. There’s no need for a next move.

Edit: I get that people think it’s a joke, but it’s not a funny joke unless she’s setting up another joke.

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u/Rjoe1993 5d ago edited 5d ago

I think it's funny if it's a banter tho.

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u/RedOneHitter 5d ago

No everything is serious 😠

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u/Pentax25 5d ago

There isn’t another option

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u/THAWED21 5d ago

It's all fun and games until she shows up with a table that doesn't match your style.

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u/trickman01 5d ago

Redditors identifying joke challenge:

Impossible.

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u/mrmudzi 5d ago

Redditors finding red flag challenge:

Apparently everything anyone says

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u/LeftRightRightUp 5d ago

It’s a self-effacing joke.

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u/AFisberg 5d ago

I thought it was a joke

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u/AncientHawaiianTito 5d ago

Dude started the convo by offering to impregnate her 4 times. They can wave their many red flags together and do everyone a service by taking eachother out of the public dating pool

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u/Gingered32 5d ago

Thank you. I love how everyone attacks her table comment but disregards him saying the next four kids will be with him… ?

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u/FlatSystem3121 5d ago

Dude calm down it's a joke.

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u/infamous_237 5d ago

Fuuuuuuuck that. Onto the next.

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u/Massive_Screen6424 5d ago

Everyone is saying run, but I think she’s just joking. She joked about how many kids she had so it’s safe to assume she is messing around about the table thing.

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u/SIM0N__ 5d ago

Maybe the people are misinterpreting her sentence.

Perhaps she got a house, so she is 'bringing the table' ?

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u/dperolio 5d ago

Yeah, this is how I read it. And or that she’s a breadwinner, i.e. earning to provide for the household furnishings, such as a table.

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u/beeleebelle 5d ago

I might be reading this differently, but is she maybe not saying what she expects of someone else, but what she has learned is necessary for her to be like as a mom?

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u/Nearby_Emu4514 5d ago

Yes, this is how I interpreted it also. OP is the one who made it about what she could offer him, which is why it’s a great response. It’s cheeky, not an actual answer.

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u/missmaryjane17 5d ago

why are you all so mad? it’s clearly a joke …. like she’s clearly fucking joking? some of you getting so angry and calling this person a bitvh and stuff is just straight scary lmao

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u/Edy94 5d ago

Yeah I found this funny af

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u/Inner-Challenge9786 5d ago

That’s just a Joke. ( I hope so😅) And not a bad one

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u/Hextall2727 5d ago

Tables are her corn

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u/Jokker_is_the_name 5d ago

"bring the bed instead"

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u/Neath_Izar 5d ago

The whole 'I bring the table' gets so annoying, better bachelor did a good video on that

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u/absolutelynotthatguy 5d ago

better bachelor

These channel thumbnails look like its a incel shithole.

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u/HerezahTip 5d ago

I’ve found that any kind of “bachelor coach” online is incel central.

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u/TidusJames 5d ago

I wasnt going to jump to conclusions off just your observation, but after scrolling through his videos I couldnt easily pick one that didnt ooze... 'clickbait for men who are angry at women for their own failings.' Even the videos that had potential and were legitimately calling out valid concerns... the word choice in the titles and thumbnails...

hmmm... how to put this.. -

Nothing I saw indicated a well balanced and healthy minded individual.

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u/Mustakrakish_Awaken 5d ago

That's what's so frustrating with those PUA/red pill/FDS/incel advice forums or videos; they sprinkle just enough truth or good advice (usually along the lines of valuing yourself and improving yourself) but then twist the overall message into something that's just so gross.

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u/TwoTailedFox 5d ago

It's insidious.

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u/lostshell 5d ago

Work on yourself. Work out. Eat better. Clean your place. Invest in yourself. Wash clothes regularly. Women are the devil, succubi sent to bleed men dry. Don’t forget the fabric softener.

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u/GregorSamsaa 5d ago

Stop watching those vids, for your own sanity

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u/Available_Homework61 5d ago

Ask if she wants to smash on the table she brings

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u/Arkangel_Ash 5d ago

I make 6 figures. Just kidding, only 2.

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u/Low_Egg_7606 5d ago edited 5d ago

Why is everyone taking her response so seriously 😭 it’s funny if she was joking. She already joked about having 6 kids. Stop taking everyone serious on tinder, y’all sound so miserable in the comments right now. Lighten tf up like genuinely, all of you. If you don’t like someone’s response just unmatch them it’s not the end of the world. Her saying she brings the table doesn’t make her a bitch or shitty. Y’all are so dramatic😭

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u/PuzzledPosition1003 5d ago

I thought that meant she'll be the breadwinner?!

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u/dhSquiggly 5d ago

THIS!!! My first thought was it meant she has all her shit together so much so that she has the table and all he has to bring is himself.

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u/Lunaandthemoon 5d ago

Ask if it’s oak or mahogany

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u/Mikey_Knows_Now 5d ago

“I AM THE TABLE!!!”

If she understands the reference, marry her

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u/wreckluse121 5d ago

Ask her if she wants 6

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u/astro143 5d ago

"I hope it's sturdy with all the kids we'll be making on it"

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u/Ok-Researcher 5d ago

yall are socially derelict. its just a quip?? a smooth response to “what do you bring to the table” which is a weird move and honestly a huge turnoff. it’s dating not a job application, and i personally would have gotten instant ick and not bothered to respond.

inb4: she wasnt telling him he has to ‘bring all that to the table’, she was rattling off what kind of labor is involved with raising kids.

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u/vandingo_ 5d ago

“I bring the table” better equate to “I’ll supply a relationship with a house.”

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u/Big_Dick_NRG_0341 5d ago I'll Drink to That

“I bring the table”… and that’s why she’s on tinder as single with two kids.

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u/cedren 5d ago

“I identify as baggage”

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u/Kamal_Toe_Harris 5d ago

Next move is to unmatch and find someone who isn’t looking for someone to cling onto with their children.

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u/calamondinbewbs 5d ago

If you’re looking for a genuine answer, I’d suggest asking her to tell you more about the table you’re coming to. Ask her about her kids, their dad, her work, her favourite meals to cook (and you tell her yours). This conversation is only as high stakes as it is because she has two kids and now every interaction for her in a dating capacity is loaded and srs bsns. You’re not going to get around that, you have to face it like a standup guy or if you’re not up to it, fade out before you make plans to go on a date and waste this woman’s time. Ask her where she sees herself in five years, ask her what she’s looking for in a partner, ask her what her dating history has been like in terms of being let down and if you’re serious then ask her how you can avoid letting her down. Anything else without asking any questions is just going to be a very immature response based on the inability to take a joke because of stigma you’re buying into about single mothers and the associated stereotypes. I’m sure you wouldn’t want someone forming their opinion on you via stereotypes.

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u/dhSquiggly 5d ago

This is a quality response for OP.

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u/AmbeeGaming 5d ago

I always take that to mean they own a home.

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